shallow bastard. REALLY? for another girl. okay, eric. love you too.
urgh i feel so terrible. remembering all of this.
I miss you.
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:[
I feel broken, and empty.
Eric broke up with me. I want to die. He says its because of school. But it still hurts.
So I got my glasses today! and they are mega adorable<3
tehe.
But anyways, lately things have been going really well.
Just letting you know.
And right now Im listening to some really neat swedish techno music.
:]
I have winterguard practice tonight which I’m not really looking forward to. But tomorrow there’s no school.
GOBAMA! 
I feel different. Recently, I’ve been feeling better about myself. More confident I suppose. But I still feel kind of alone sometimes. It’s weird. And I dont know how to explain it.
stupid.
My hands are trembling as I’m trying to catch my breath.
Nothing’s clear anymore.
You’re more then just in my head.
I can taste my own fear running down my face; streaming down my cheeks and dying on my lips.
la.
Maybe it’s time to stop living in the past. And finally move on. I can’t even be honest with myself anymore. I am pathetic.
i do not know.
If I said I didn’t care about anything I’d be lying. There is only one thing I care about right now but it’s something that will never happen. The feeling I have inside of me is tearing me apart, nothing is going to fix the craving I have in my heart. I keep telling myself none of this matters, but in the back of my mind I know it does; more than anything ever has. Who knew it was so difficult to forget someone? Can’t things be easier? Just this once. I’ve had to deal with way too much of this bullshit.
My head hurts. A lot. I think it’s my meds or something. But I feel a lot of tension in my temples. Ah but anyways. I thought I’d write a bit. Today was kinda boring. I feel kind of weird. But not in a good way. I feel more disappointed in myself than I usually do. Apathetic is a good word I guess.
I’ve never felt this way before; like every inch of me is broken.
I’m holding onto your words and all they’re doing is pulling me back in your direction.
You’re not the person I thought I knew.
And everything you’ve ever said to me is screaming right back at me.
Blaaah my life
I wish people would leave me alone.
I don’t know what to type, or how to describe how I’m feeling but all I know is that it doesn’t feel good at ALL. My stomach hurts and my mind is boggled with tons of thoughts making there way around my head jumping to conclusions. Maybe all of this is my fault. And I need to just not make such a big deal out of things and not got so offended. Another thing, I can’t STAND when people play with your heart like it’s a toy. That’s probably one of the cruelest things you could do to someone.
You’ve got me screaming at the top my lungs.
Ew; why do I have nothing better to do?
Ignoring the way we feel;
Overlooking everything we’ve done.
Forgetting who we are;
Forever is only a moment away.
Let’s fall apart; I’ll be your darling memory and your very last lullaby.
You know what I can’t stand?
People who know they hurt you and won’t leave you alone. They give you absolutely no time to recover from heartbreak. And then they act like it’s your own fault. And the stupid ones telling you that they WILL find a way to talk to you. And I don’t understand why they would want to. Just to rub it in your face that the person their with isn’t you. Maybe? Ha, and I thought this was really funny. The most recent douche bag IMed me and asked me why I was mad and hated him. All I could do was just laugh. But then after a while the laughs turned to tears. I guess it just hurts a lot. It almost doesn’t seem fair.
God that sounded emo. No one reads this. So it doesn’t matter..?
Maybe, I’ll write more later.
We’ll see.
